absence doesn't really make the heart grow fonder

and then, there was silence

that eerie, excruciating silence

from your side of the planet.


no sign of struggle

no sign of sadness

no, nothing at all.


and then, there was pain

that immensely stabbing pain

from deep within.

this misery sucks out all the energy left in me

i thought i can pull off the same stunt i did with her years ago.. well, you guess that right - i thought wrong!

so now, i'm stuck in this labyrinth and i don't see any other way out but this.. i deserve more than this! i deserve to be loved and to be happy with someone who will love me..

i just hope and pray that i can stay away from you until i am back to my normal self.. haaayy

you have no right to complain, bitch!

who am i to complain about how my miserable my life is when i have everything i need.. i have a family who has my back whatever happens.. i have friends who make life a little crazier.. and i have the best job i could ever ask for! so, what's there to make me all blue? 

who am i to complain about my non-existent love life when people around me are grieving for everything they lost because of unforeseeable events?! am i just too insatiable that i cannot find happiness in the things that i have been blessed with? am i that ungrateful for the life that was lent to me by the Creator? 

so you see, i have no right to feel sucky and all that shit! i just don't have any reason why i should feel that way! 

but i do.. 

and i'm sorry, Father.. i'm sorry for being such an ungrateful prick.. :(

rumor has it, you were the other woman..

if this isn't desperation, then i don't know what is! *sigh*

i'll wake up one day and find you gone

i know i will wake up from this dream sooner than what i would have wanted.. and i know that it is going to hurt more than i could ever imagine or anticipate.. and perhaps i will not have something to shield me from the pain brought about by my sheer stupidity.. but until then, will you please just let me pretend that this is real and that you are mine?

you are my temporary bliss

the trouble with living in a make-believe world is waking up to the sad truth that it was nothing but a DREAM..

for the first time in months, i felt needed and wanted (even if it was all make believe).. i felt i had someone to call my own.. and i experienced bliss again.. but it was all borrowed happiness - the way she held me close and kissed me - it was all temporary! a fantasy that i have been trying to live in for so long now.. and now that we're back to what we were before, the pain is just unbearable.. because i realized that nothing that i do matters at all.. and all i will ever be to her is someone she can play make-believe with.. i know she made it all clear that there will be no strings attached and i actually thought that i'd be able to pull it off.. well, you guess it right - i thought wrong! and now, i'm suffering the consequences.. because even if i can have all her time, i still wouldn't be able to get a hold of her heart.. why? because it belongs to someone else.. and no matter what i do, nothing will ever change her mind! :(

the sad truth about being brokenhearted

the hardest part of being brokenhearted
is actually not feeling the pain,
but having to deal with the sad truth
that you don't want me
every single day of my life.. 

;(