Showing posts with label diabetes mellitus type 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diabetes mellitus type 2. Show all posts

Thursday, July 21, 2011

bury me with pink flowers on a pink caskett

all my life, i've always thought that my obesity is a helpless case.. i guess i've always believed that i was born this way and that i can't do anything about it.. well, yeah i have a lazy arse too! that and my unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle led to numerous serious health conditions..

when i was younger, i never really admitted to myself that i have an unhealthy lifestyle.. i smoke, i eat too much, i'm a coke addict, and i always sleep late at night.. but i didn't mind that.. before.. not until about a month ago when i collapsed in the middle of the night in my room.. i was rushed to the hospital because i was very weak and nauseous.. when we got there, my blood pressure level went down from 90/70 to 70/50 (i think).. my mom told me i was so pale and all.. and she kept budging me just so i wouldn't fall asleep because if i did i would have gone in a coma.. that was too traumatic for me..

before that incident, we had softdrinks for two straight days at home (that was a weekend).. sunday night, i slept a bit early because i had a fever and had chills.. around 2AM, i woke up sweating because there was no AC.. and i was itching all over my lower extremities.. so i got out of bed and took an anti-allergy pill.. i went back to bed and tried to get some sleep.. still, the itching didn't stop.. the medication didn't work, i suppose.. after a few minutes, i felt choking.. it was like something was lodged in my throat.. and although the AC was already on high, i was sweating and was feeling dizzy.. i tried not to mind it.. but after some time, i felt i had to get up and go to my parents' room.. so i forced myself to get up.. when i sat on the bed, i couldn't see or hear anything.. it was pitch dark and there was an eerie silence.. it was like i lost my sight and my hearing.. panicked, i tried to stand up and that was when i felt like the world spun under my feet.. i fell to the side, crashed on my electric fan and full-length mirror.. i still couldn't see or hear anything, but i felt that everything toppled on top of me.. maybe it was my survival instincts, i don't know, but i forced myself to stand up even if the cable of my fan was tangled to my legs.. i pushed everything away and almost crawled towards my parents' room.. when i opened the door, i almost couldn't say anything because i was too weak.. but i really forced my throat to make a sound and i called out to my mom.. "help, ma!" startled, she hurriedly got out of bed, panicking.. i wanted to die that very instant! i don't know why i didn't let myself die in my room..

so after five days in the hospital, my endocrinologist told me that i have type 2 diabetes.. "great! now i can die really young!" i thought to myself..

today, i don't eat that much anymore.. no more softdrinks.. no more sweets (well, except for the times when i really crave for one.. but i try as hard as i can not to eat more than i should).. i still smoke occasionally.. but i try to eat as little as possible.. i taught myself to like vegetables (okay, only some) and fruits.. i also pushed myself to drink lots of water everyday.. and every single day, i discover more and more complications that i will acquire if i don't take care of my health.. and although i really really don't wanna grow older than 40, i don't wanna die paralyzed or missing one leg either!