i know i have no right to get hurt like this.. i know i have no right to be mad like this.. but i am human! i can't help but feel this way about how things ended.. i wish i could teach my heart to move on faster so i can be free from these negative emotions.. and so that you wouldn't have any effect on me anymore.. but this heart just doesn't get it! and i'm tired of trying to speed up the recovery process.. because the more i do, the more i end up feeling bitter about everything.. and i don't want to end things like that! i still want us to be friends.. but perhaps, not now.. maybe someday when my heart has healed completely..
for now, i know i haven't completely gotten over the fact that i lost the battle.. i guess i tried to keep it all inside for far too long because every time someone asks about you, tears always seem to well up in my eyes.. and the pain would sting so fukcing badly all over again!
then again, maybe what hurts me most is knowing that you never wanted me despite all my efforts.. :(
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